On our last morning in Texas i woke up at dawn and decided to go for a little walk to see everything for a last time. As i came to the lake behind our barn there were to deer in the distance, so far away i could hardly see them in the dim of the morning light. I tried to sneak closer without them noticing me. They became aware of me and stood still, ready to head off. But since i didn´t move fast and didn´t seem threatening, they started walking towards me. It was a 15 minutes game of walking towards each others and standing still, just staring at each others. One of them was so curious, he came so close, i could almost touch him. But than his friend called him back and they kept a safe distance until they finally lost interest and moved on.
I´ve never experienced something like that before. Normally I try to get as close as possible without them seeing me, but as soon as they do, they run away fast. I did not expect them to stay and approach me and it was an almost divine moment.
This little deer encounter made me realise two things:
In Psalm 46,10 it says: Be still and know that i am God. I gotta take the time to wait upon the Lord, to be not filled by all kinds of thoughts, and plans and goals to achieve. I have to stand still and wait for God to reach out to me. This is a tough one since i am so used to pack my short day with all kind of Todos to achieve. But in this case I was so glad that i had taken the time just to go out and walk around without anthing specific in mind, that i didn´t have the goal to run a certain amount of miles or go to a specific place.
I also noticed that i have certain expectations of how things will happen. I expected the deer to run away from me and was so surprised that they didn´t at the end. I wanted to hide from them to get a result but than got a much better result when i was exposed to them. My expectations are so often wrong and sometimes they hinder me from having great experiences.
For example: Most of us, when we think of difficulties in our life, we expect to experience pain and suffering and all kinds of bad feelings. So our goal is to try to get out of those circumstances as fast as possible. We try to solve the problem, we try to undo what has happened, we try to avoid or even repress it. But we don´t expect a divine encounter in the midst of it, even though God gave us so many promises that he will be nearest in our most difficult circumstances.
So..... let us wait a little more and let us try to not have our expectations set too much on how it´s ought to be!